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While normally I’m a half-glass-full kind of guy, I thought with the end of the economy as we know it, I’d mix things up just a bit with 9 things that need to change.

1. Order taking employees asking “is THAT it?”
Try “does that complete your order?” or “what else can I get for you today?”

2. Overhearing inappropriate conversations between employees. I don’t need to hear about somebody’s boyfriend being arrested last night or you trash-talking a previous customer.

3. Outdated notices on the front door of retail establishments. I recently saw a notice on the front door of a well-known restaurant chain that expired two weeks earlier. No employees were awake enough to see it and take it down?

4. Employees telling customers they care when their body language and tone of voice clearly state otherwise (flight attendants on some of the legacy airlines are classic for this one).
If your company is having this problem, solve it. At the very least, stop requiring employees to say scripted lines such as “we really appreciate your business” when they clearly don’t.

5. The multitasking customer talking on his/her cell phone at the checkout line. Would it be asking too much for you to put your phone down for just a minute to politely converse with the checkout clerk?

6. The “Legend-In-His-Own-Mind” guy in row 14 of your flight. As soon as the landing gear touches down, he shouts into his phone to tell the person on the line (and the rest of the plane) that he’s landed.

7. Jim Cramer. He’s entertaining and knowledgeable, no doubt, but his circus-show won’t make you “mad money” as proven earlier this year by the Wall Street Journal. If you want to become an expert investor, check out this month’s Random Review.

8. Economic statistics and the economists behind them. Now, you’re telling us we’re finally in a recession? I’ve got news for you. We’ve been in a recession for the last 9-12 months. I’ll prove it in a future commentary.

9. “Fresh” donuts made 8 hours ago in a central commissary 30 miles away are anything but fresh.

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